Beyond Isolation: Healing Through Community as a Whole
Unlock the transformational power of authentic community on Elements of Community! Antoniette Roze shares how the communities we participate in and create can either imprison us in isolation or restore wholeness and balance. After experiencing alternative therapies that cured her terminal cancer as a child, she now empowers others through community. Antoniette discusses how
Antoniette Roze shares powerful insights on community and healing on Elements of Community. After experiencing alternative therapies that cured her terminal cancer as a child, Antoniette shifted her focus to empowering others through community. She argues that a “whole body” approach is needed in healthcare to correct imbalances, and that community plays a role in helping bodies and cells avoid “insane” behaviors that come from isolation.
Antoniette discusses how she leads her small but elite community of speakers by giving them freedom within a framework. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on one’s vision and polarizing through purpose to make an impact. Antoniette encourages “living in and contributing to” community to unlock its power to reflect our humanity back to us and restore wholeness.
In powerful moments, Antoniette describes how communities can either imprison us in isolation or reverse it by seeing and serving each member fully. She encourages listeners to consider how they can contribute their own uniqueness to building communities that heal through connection and shared purpose beyond isolation.
Other subjects we covered on the show
- Antoniette’s holistic vision of health and wellbeing focused on “whole body” approaches and correcting imbalances.
- How she leads her community of speakers by giving them freedom within a framework and focusing on their visions.
- The importance of polarity and focusing on one’s vision in order to make an impact and serve one’s purpose.
- The transformative power of truly participating in and contributing to an authentic community.
- How communities can either reflect our humanity back to us or keep us isolated based on how we see and serve each other.
AND MORE TOPICS COVERED IN THE FULL INTERVIEW!!! You can check that out and subscribe at https://pbp.li/eoc49.
If you want to know more about Antoniette Roze, you may reach out to her at:
- Website: https://wellnessproductionsco.com/
[00:00:00] Welcome back to the show everyone. I’m really excited to introduce you to Antoniette Roze. Antoniette, I have really enjoyed getting to know you over the last month. And I can’t wait for whatever comes for us as we continue to go deeper.
I love what you’re doing and I love why you’re doing it. Why don’t you tell the audience a little about yourself and a little about why I love it.
Great. Thank you Lucas and thank you so much for having me on your show. It’s an important and fun show that I enjoy following. I am Antoniette Roze, as Lucas said, and for years I was a producer of natural wellness events. One of the biggest was the Texas Natural Wellness Expo, so if you’re in that space, you’ve probably heard of that. I was a founder and producer of that.
But I have since pivoted and now I’m a speaker agent for Wellbeing Health and Optimum Performance Speakers. Absolutely love it. It comes with a passion. [00:01:00] I want every human being on this earth to know that they have options and that they can have decision making power that makes a big difference in their health and wellbeing and lifestyle, quality of life.
And that stems from a very early, very early experience with terminal cancer, the late stage kind that there was no hope for. And then kind of brought in some integrative therapies into that process. And not only am I alive, but I’m walking, I was told I wouldn’t be walking. I had a child was told I wouldn’t be able to carry a child.
So I believe that there, our bodies are very powerful and we don’t realize the power of our own bodies. So that’s my passion behind what I do.
I love that. Wow, I haven’t heard that part of the story. Thank you for sharing.
The big C sucks.
It can. But to me the most interesting thing is [00:02:00] there to me, this is me. I don’t believe that there is such a thing of as cancer. I believe that it’s basically an imbalance. In the body. It’s different for everybody, of course. It needs a label to give a medicine and a protocol, right?
And so I don’t take it lightly. It damages and destroys very a lot of people’s lives, right? We’re all touched by somebody that we love and care about who has battled something labeled. You know, the C word. But I also believe that if, when we take a whole body approach and we correct imbalances that there’s a lot of power in that.
And every day you turn on a television, you do, you talk to your doctor, you know, whatever it is that you do, you get all of the information on different medications and different, very invasive and oftentimes. Heavily damaging approaches to not only that, but diabetes, Crohn’s disease, anything, right?
Even depression. Whereas if we can [00:03:00] institute the power and the miracle, really that is our body’s systems there’s just so much. So much science and research and testimonials. I’m one of them. About the power of that. And I know that’s not the purpose of your show, the purpose of your show and our talk is all about purpose, right? And so it’s really interesting that many people feel.
Actually if you’re up for it, I’d like to take a little detour.
Sure, you bet. Let’s do it.
I have a theory about cancer.
And I haven’t shared this with anyone before, but your experience and the way that you’re talking about it sort of brings it up and makes it relevant right here in this moment, and it is relevant to this show. So there are some things that we know about humanity. If you take people and you isolate them, they slowly over time become insane. I mean, truly insane. They lose their sanity. You actually have heard me talk about this from a different perspective.
One of the things that we [00:04:00] can learn from that, if you take people and isolate them and they slowly become insane, what we can learn from that is that not only can we co co-create our reality, but rather we must, we must co-create our reality. We require it. I require your input to some degree, maybe very small, but non-zero. I require your input in order to continue to create the reality inside which I live. So we must co-create our reality. It’s very cool. Now I’m gonna take that idea and set it aside. The idea that if we isolate a human, completely, isolate them, they lose their sanity. Setting that aside, if you take some skin cells or actually any cell of your body and you take it out of your body and you put it into a Petri dish and you watch it, the cell will start to behave in ways that are insane. The way that that cell behaves will start to become something that would be non-sustainable inside [00:05:00] your body.
Which is almost by definition what insanity would be at the cellular level. So all of a sudden we have a cell that we’re studying in a Petri dish all by itself, just so that we can learn from it. And what we learn is that when it’s sitting there in a Petri dish, it’s doing things that don’t make sense inside the context of the collective body. So when we put those things together. A human isolated from their community becomes insane. A cell isolated from the body becomes insane even if it survives. And this is true for the human. This is also true for the cell, even if it survives for a while.
It survives as something that’s entirely different. It’s not the human separated from the collective isn’t really human anymore. They’ve become insane. There’s something different, there’s something new. And ironically, you could study them deeply at a hormonal level and they don’t look like other humans inside a community. The same is true at the cell.
Now [00:06:00] what does that suggest about the way disease happens inside our body and specifically the Big C cancer? My theory is that when you spend time in the world telling your cells mentally, co-created reality, telling your cells that you don’t want to be in community. Your cells are gonna start to believe you eventually, and they’re gonna start to behave in an insane manner.
Now we look at all these stories, like the story of the Secret. I hope people who are listening to me know what the story of the Secret is. First time it’s come up on my show, but this is sort of become part of. You know the culture of the Americas, right? We look at the story of the secret where they’re actually talking about how powerful your brain is, how powerful your mindset is to be able to take you a step forward and maybe the only important step forward in curing diseases like [00:07:00] cancer, and talk about the stories that they shared.
People decided to change their mindset. They decided to enter into happiness all the time with gratitude journals and comedy movies, and culling their friendships so that they only have people that are lifting them up and all of a sudden the cancer went away. Could it be that mindset shift was reflected in the body the same way inside the body that you would see inside a community?
I choose to give you and Tony at more love, and all of a sudden the community around both of us is lifted up by me choosing to give you more love. I choose to tell my cells at a cellular level inside the community of Lucas. That I want to be healthy, that I want to continue living, that I want us to work together, and the cells that are choosing to behave in an insane manner just make a different choice. They’re like, oh, maybe I do want to be part [00:08:00] of this community. Maybe I don’t wanna just do my own thing and be crazy, and all of a sudden the cancer just goes away.
Okay. I think what you’re describing is a whole body approach, right? It’s not a localized, pinpointed thing. And I think western medicine, especially, they don’t take the whole body approach, whether it is to the C word or to even emotional. Struggles, whatever it might be in life. And even we can go as far as saying how we live our lives can, if we don’t take that whole body approach, that it’s not, I don’t have a business life, I don’t have a personal life.
It’s not segmented. It’s all one. And if one’s off kilter, the whole thing is off kilter. Right? And you can’t isolate one and just excel in business and think that your family and your other parts of your lives are gonna thrive. So, I guess it really goes back to that.
And same with communities. And I know that’s a big part of your message, that’s the [00:09:00] core of your message. Is there can’t be one part that doesn’t affect another. And when it comes to our health and wellbeing, that’s really my drive is that everybody knows that there’s so many options out there.
There’s such a bigger picture than trying to laser 0.1 little, like if my elbow hurts, it might be an issue in my right toe, right? Because something down there is off, so it’s throwing something else off. Entirely different. If we just keep trying to fix my elbow and not look at the whole body as one unit, then it’s just gonna wind up getting more surgeries, more medications, whatever, and it’s never really gonna help.
Right? And we see that over and over. We’re trying to fix one localized problem, creates another problem, and then it just becomes. You know where you’re saying your goodbyes. I think that’s really true for every single part of your life. Like take a step back and look how everything relates to the other.
That’s a huge part of what my work is all about, getting those voices out there saying, Hey, have you considered this solution?[00:10:00] And take a step back and look at all of the different options that we have available.
Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. The power of community, right? The power of the community inside the body, and the power of the community that you are creating to amplify voices.
Right? Yep. That’s exactly it. And if you even look back in history at not only human communities, but even animal communities, right. Or medicine itself, right? Western. It’s really, Western communities and western medicine are kind of isolated minded, right? What doesn’t serve me, I’m gonna cut off.
Or even when it comes an approach of maybe you have a tooth, that’s. Giving you trouble and they pull the tooth, well then just the other teeth are gonna have more trouble. Because first of all, you’ve pulled something that’s very important to the whole ecosystem instead of figuring out ways to heal and [00:11:00] repair that, and then heal and repair the rest that goes with it.
But all of that to say that isolated approach to anything is going to create more problems. When you look at the whole. And I know holistic is thrown around, but at its core, the word holistic is not even, it doesn’t even mean alternative. It means a bigger look at the bigger picture. And then you approach it from the bigger picture down instead of from the micro issue up. Right? Does that make sense?
Yeah. Cool. Thank you. Tell me about your community.
So I serve, I’m a bespoke speaker agency, and so actually in.
I do like bespoke.
I do too. Yeah, you definitely have, first of all. An ability to serve at a higher level, but also an ability to receive and for the community itself to go give right at a higher [00:12:00] level. Cause there’s the space and the absence of noise in those kinds of environments.
So we serve under 20 speakers at this point and my team is at about that. Number two, cause we serve at a very high level. And so what’s really neat about the dynamics of watching my community as it grows is the cream of what everybody is. May not even be on their resume. Right? They may not even verbally say it, but it just rises.
And the value of each person becomes even more astute, like even more prominent as the community gels and relaxes with each other and grows. And in that, I used to, when I built out my company, I’m like, okay, I’m gonna commission somebody who knows sizzle reels and bring them in every now and then, and somebody who knows the, you know, these different aspects of what it takes to support a really [00:13:00] successful speaking career.
What I’m realizing is most of the time I have that and even better within my own community, and I didn’t know that going in. So I think for me, giving people the space to shine in the way that they shine, right? Leaving, having a framework, but leaving it loose enough where people have the room to really surprise you.
Yeah, I love that. That’s the best version of community right there. Like, have people love what they do and then give them for the freedom for that love to turn into excellence.
Good for you. Now I want to take that and shout it from the mountains so that everybody hears it.
We’ll do it together. We’ll shout from the mountains together.
Yeah, let’s do it. Amazing. And how did you get to the point where you recognize that people who [00:14:00] love what they do will move into excellence if they have the freedom to display their love?
It was organic, it just kind of happened. So you know, I’m like a lot of business owners. I take all the classes, hire all the mentors and all of the things. And what I was seeing a pattern in is the mentors that where I really grew the most and feel like I made real traction in my own direction, were the ones who didn’t tell me what to do, but drew it out of me.
And maybe that kind of example. Helped me as a leader of my own community, right, that I’m not going to make a rigid framework and you absolutely follow it to the T, but here’s from my experience, what works best to make it big as a speaker, right? I give that. [00:15:00] But we’re not robots quite yet. We still are very human and we are unexpected, and that’s part of our beauty, right?
So somebody with maybe a quirk that I would feel like, oh, I don’t know how that’s gonna translate, just let them go with it. And of course I’m guiding, but you give people enough framework to feel safe. And then surround them with support. Right? But then you just let them be them. And I do, I feel like I circled the mountain, circled the mountain for seven years trying to dance to other people’s dances.
This is the way it enriches, right? So I dance to their dance. I’m like, I don’t really like this music, but I’ll just do it anyway. Right? And then you dance to somebody else’s dance. And when it was Lucas, honestly, when it was, when I just turned it all off.
What is my gut saying? Like, And it really took a mentor that we both know very well to help me trust that I already have what I need [00:16:00] to succeed in a really big way.
It’s believing that it’s already there and stepping into it. And so no seeing that. And then my career went whoosh right after seven years of circling the mountain. And so that was all the education I needed with regard to community, and that’s how I run mine. Now I just, I give framework, give a lot of support, but I also show you how to be you out loud and on purpose cause that’s what at the end of the day, people crave connection, whether it’s business. Business relationship, it’s still a relationship. If it’s a personal relationship, it’s still a relationship.
If it’s somebody at the grocery store, right? Who’s checking you out, that’s still a relationship, how are you gonna treat them? How do they treat you? And when we start seeing everything as separate entities and doesn’t really matter how we treat them, I think that’s where we run into a lot of problems in our society, in our businesses, and our families, whatever it might be.[00:17:00]
Yeah, I love that out loud and on purpose.
That sounds almost like a tagline. Tell me more about that out loud and on purpose.
So you know who you are as Lucas, right? And sometimes you’ll subdue it. You’ll kind of.
Yes, I do.
We’re all evolving beings, which is also another beautiful thing. But we know at the core, you know, what our values are, what things excite us, what doesn’t excite us, you know, our ways that we like to communicate and connect with people.
But so often we’ll just kind of temper that in, whatever. Temper or kind of even maybe alter that in whatever settings that we’re in. So my philosophy is figure out who you are. Like one of the first things that I do with any new client is we don’t figure out who your avatar is until we figure out who you are.
What is your archetype? What is at your core, right? Let’s figure out who you are. I see so many coaching. There’s a coaching [00:18:00] program on every corner anymore, and it’s getting harder and harder to see the ones. To really recognize the ones that are really.
Extraordinary, right? They’re really gonna help you reach that next level so that you can help your people, right? Reach the next level.
And where that comes from is, I can’t be you. You can have a system that works for you, but if you’re the type of mentor that helps me figure out me, right? And what’s gonna work for me and the vision of how I see myself serving my community. As you draw that out of me, then I become me.
I’m not making apologies for myself anymore, right? I’m not hiding little parts of me or blending into the background. I’m like owning it, right? I’m owning who I am, owning my process, and so it’s me exaggerated. But it’s still me. It’s a little louder, a little bigger, and I’m stepping into it. I guess I’m stepping into that space that maybe [00:19:00] I kept safe. Does that, am I communicating that very well?
I mean, I get it.
So the combination of a really deeply fulfilling relationship that you have with your coach and the way that relationship opens you up to having a better relationship with yourself. Now you’ve taken that.
Ding, ding, ding, ding. I mean, that was, I don’t wanna glance over that one. That was huge. Lucas. Yes, your relationship and your enrollment into yourself is first and foremost, and there are not many programs out there that put you before the avatar. Right. And it has to come first.
Yeah, now you’ve taken that and you’ve turned it back. So now you are building that relationship with your speakers. And modeling through that relationship that they can have a deeper relationship with their self to be open in the safety [00:20:00] of the love that they have for themselves and the love that they share with you.
Absolutely. Can I give one quick example?
So one speaker that I’ve had the amazing privilege to speak into, right? To help further her career is Chinese. And she spent the early years of her life in China and she said she’s an amazing nutritionist. She’s incredible. Nutritionist America needs more of her, right? But she was always very, very self-conscious of her accent. It was very thick accent.
And she was always trying to hide it, always trying to Americanize in the way that she dressed and the way that she communicated. And once she realized that she was actually doing herself and her business a disservice by doing that and embraced her accent and embraced her culture, even in the way that she dressed.
And in her background, her background was very Americanized. [00:21:00] Right? Just put back the elements of if she was going to. Decorate that space just for herself, what would it look like? Her career took off cause she embraced and then she was in tears. She said, I always, I was hiding and I didn’t realize it.
And once I was authentically who I am and unapologetically, so right then the right people started just. Like Velcro connecting with me and her career has really taken off to a new level.
Amazing. I love that. Wow.
Interesting. How would you like to talk a little bit about how leadership shows up in your community? I think.
I can give more examples if you’d like.
Well, I think you queued up a really interesting idea that by giving people the support and the belief in them, and then the freedom to act out of love, that [00:22:00] excellence shows up.
And that sounds like a version of leadership that I’m, as you know, I’m a big proponent of, I call it fluid leadership. You wanna, you wanna dive into that a little more?
Sure. So we’ve all stepped into rooms, whether they’re virtual rooms or real rooms, where we can feel right away that we sit and listen or we interact. Right? We either sit and listen and absorb what the master head, the master talking head is giving, or we go and give, right? We give and receive. We give and receive.
And I personally, and it doesn’t matter what the environment is, I don’t care if it’s church, if it’s a conference, the speakers who succeed the most are the ones who have that collaborative experience, right?
That interactive, collaborative experience. They’re not a talking head. And so that’s how I lead as well. I have, [00:23:00] agendas like frameworks of what we need to accomplish in any given setting. Right? But there’s breathing room, there’s space, and it’s expandable contractable. And what I love about what you did with this talk is we kind of had an idea of the direction we wanted to go with this show.
And you decided that we’re expanding and contracting in that we’re allowing the organic. The conversation to organically create itself. And in my sessions, we call them SOS sessions. Our speaker, they’re called our speaker open sessions. We have them once a week. I always have an idea of what I’d like to bring to the table, and a lot of times something much bigger rises to the top.
And that is just in a, when you have a collaborative go give community. And this is my favorite two lines, like if you’re not even sure how to make that happen, if it’s just kind of that awkward silence in your community, whether it’s with your team [00:24:00] or with the community that you’re building, is I will ask these two questions and then the conversation just kind of explodes in a great way.
What’s going well? And what could be going better, right? What can you celebrate and what can we talk about that we can troubleshoot together and, share insights and ideas together. And in that, I get blown away from my own people, right? I think I know them intimately, like more than they know themselves.
Oftentimes I write their bios, I build out their messaging, you know, all the things. And, there’s one lady in particular, if I can give this example. So I didn’t, I don’t generally Google my speakers before I bring them in and very picky about who cause who you bring in your space. Like you said, it’s not isolated, it can permeates through the rest, right?
So it’s really important to carefully choose who you bring into your community and I go by my gut. Like I look at their credentials, obviously, but then I just go by [00:25:00] my gut and she was just a no-brainer in bringing her in no matter what. Right? And later we needed a headshot and for whatever reason, the one that she provided us wasn’t gonna work.
So my executive assistant Googled her and we’re like, we have Marilyn Monroe. Like, what? So it was pretty incredible. She was one of the main stars of Carmen for a lot of years if you’re into theater and plays and just, she has these black and whites of just this gorgeous woman right from the 60’s, 70’s, and all the things.
And she never communicated those things with me. But I was just saying that there was so many layers of depth of value in her. Even just when she would talk on the surface that the resume that she gave me, right? Wasn’t, didn’t even touch the surface of who she is and what she has to offer.
And it’s really giving her that space to be who she is. I’ve actually spotlighted her, had her run whole SOS sessions because she brings so much value in it. It has [00:26:00] really helped her blossom and own it. But she said, you know, I didn’t even know that people would find those things valuable.
She’s an author of like seven books. Like she’s got so many, so much behind her that she didn’t really realize it until she was in a space that embraced, that took value in what it is that she has to offer. And had I not given her that space, she might not still know that about herself, the depth of value that she brings and how she just shines, just given that little bit of room in a supportive atmosphere.
So I hope that really kind of paints a picture when you set the stage, can I use that pun? I’ll tell you when you set the stage by allowing the framework. And then, you know, giving some props and tools some resources, microphone, whatever it might be. And then just letting them step into that spotlight and be who they are.
Then as the light illuminates, if we’re gonna use this analogy, they’re like, oh, I didn’t [00:27:00] realize I had all this going on. Right? I didn’t realize this value that I can bring. And that’s really when you’re enrolling yourself.
That’s when you can enroll in other people. And I think too often we put the cart before the horse, we’re enrolling in other people. We forget enroll in ourselves. And I think that’s probably one of the biggest beauties of my community is that we make sure that everyone owns who they are and we give them a valuable place at the round table. Right?
Amazing. For those of you who didn’t really hear it, let’s replay that message. It’s important not to enroll in other people until you’ve enrolled in yourself. Yeah.
Now once you’ve enrolled in yourself, you are attracting the right fit connections. And then you’re creating a community of the, and I don’t even like right fit cause it means it. The opposite of that would mean wrong fit. What I actually mean is perfect fit, right? Your perfect fit [00:28:00] connections.
And then those who might not be perfect, but they’re still pretty darn good, they’re also gonna be in your community. And then those who don’t fit, meaning they wouldn’t be a great part of the collective. For whatever reason, their values or mindset, whatever it might be, would create maybe friction or tension or stumbling blocks for other people within that community.
They’re just not gonna be attracted to you when you’re out loud. So I’ll give you another really, really quick example. So there was the clubhouse days for anybody who jumped onto that wagon during that time. I was really big in those days and I still enjoy Clubhouse for some things, but it’s toned way down.
And there was a holistic leader, I guess I’ll call her in the community who I like clean language. I don’t really like, crass language, right? But she was, even in her [00:29:00] title, there was a crass word, right? And so you would know, oh, this is my people. I can just unleash and be myself, be rude, all the things.
I didn’t love it. I didn’t even love the community. I loved her. And I definitely there was a lot of great value that came out of that. But really, once the buzz of a clubhouse died down. I wasn’t sticky to her cause I didn’t necessarily resonate with her approach. But I’ll tell you what, she has an incredible business with people who are sticky to her.
Meaning they’re like Velcro. They’ve founded their person, they’ve found their community, and they will never leave her. Right? People come for the product or service, but they stay for the community and they can say the F-bombs, they can be rude, be crass, whatever. And they all feel at home there. I didn’t so much. Right? But I, even though I love the people, I love the overriding message of be your health in your own effing hands. Right? Basically is something that they would say.[00:30:00]
But yeah, it wasn’t, it wasn’t my place and that was good. Like, it was good to know that for her and for me, if she would’ve toned it down because she didn’t wanna offend anybody, she would’ve lost her real right people. Right? Don’t tone yourself down, dial yourself up, and then you get the real right people.
Yeah. That’s awesome. Thank you. We’ve sort of danced around the word purpose a couple of times. I’d like to invite you to talk about purpose a little bit.
All right? So business is hard. Life is hard, right?
What keeps you going? When it’s just S U C K’s, right? I’ll use the crossword when things just, you feel like you’re hitting your head against the wall. Like what’s gonna keep you going? Right? The core of why you’re doing what you’re doing is what’s gonna keep you going and the [00:31:00] hard times and the what’s gonna make the celebration.
In the good times. All the more sweet, right? All the more tasteful and vibrant because it’s connected to a purpose. I don’t wanna payday, I want a purpose driven payday. I wanna payday that backs my personal life mission and my personal life mission is that every single person is empowered with the out of the box solutions, like everything’s on the table. They know what resources and solutions are out there for them, for what they need to correct in their own lives. Right?
And right now, I feel like there’s an unbalance and inequality of access to information outside of mainstream. So that’s my passion and my purpose, and obviously it comes from a very specific story of my life. And every morning, I’ll just share this really quickly. When I was diagnosed, I was sent to a children’s hospital[00:32:00] hundreds of miles away from my home. And so my mom was a single mom, so I was pretty much alone for a year straight, and then a year on and off in a hospital ward, right? So that the children became my family.
And I was the unlucky one. They were basically experimenting on me with alternative and integrative therapies that had not been done on a human before, only in lab rats, lab animals. And so I was the unfortunate, unlucky one. Whereas the lucky children whose cancers were caught in time, they were the lucky ones receiving the quote unquote right treatments, right?
Very quickly into the journey, I realized I didn’t feel so unlucky. I wa may not have been walking. I was in a, had to lay flat for a good long time and then in a wheelchair and I didn’t walk for almost two years, but at least. My body didn’t swell up like a balloon and I didn’t have boils all over and lose my [00:33:00] hair and couldn’t eat because my gums hurt so badly and I wasn’t moaning in pain at night.
I was still recognizable. The kids would come in recognizable, and very soon you couldn’t even recognize them. And so very, very early on I remember asking myself why weren’t their parents told? Maybe there was something else they could have tried first like me, right before they went through this.
And of course in my young mind back then, I didn’t realize there’s no way they would experiment on children who, you know, who were, their cancers were caught in time for maybe the mainstream therapies to work. I didn’t know that in my young mind, but I remember thinking, this is wrong. Why weren’t their parents told they had other options? Right?
And a lot of times the children would be taken out of my ward. And at the time I didn’t know why. Now I understand they were taken either to ICU and they didn’t make it outta the hospital [00:34:00] that needs at least not alive. And those were my people. That was my family. That’s what helped me survive during that time.
So my purpose every morning I wake up is for their voices that didn’t get to get heard for their faces, that didn’t get to mature and grow and have their own children. And that’s the purpose behind my work. So when things get hard, it’s not as hard as what they went through, and it’s not as hard as so many others are going through right now.
So, I don’t have time to focus on myself or have a pity party, right? What I gotta do is figure out a way to around it, over it, under it, through it, whatever. Just figure it out and keep going for the sake of my purpose. Okay?
That’s a powerful story. Thank you for sharing.
So when you anchor what you do to something that’s truly not [00:35:00] manufactured, but truly important to you, then there’s no way you can’t succeed. There’s no way that you won’t succeed.
Yeah. What a statement. Figure out what’s truly important to you, then you can’t be stopped.
Right? One of the illustrations I use with my speakers, so often they’ll build this illustrious career, right? And they build this thing and they get there and you build it. Basically, you’re building a mansion, whether you’re pro-athlete, an actress and politician executive level leader or a speaker, even a well-known speaker.
You build this elaborate mansion and you spend a good amount of your life at the peril of many relationships or, you know denying your self-care, whatever it might be to get there. And then you get there and you’re like, oh, wait a minute. I was really banking on a mountain view.
I really wasn’t looking forward to it, [00:36:00] to an ocean view with the wind hitting me in the sand everywhere. I really wanted a mountain view. But how do you. Disassemble all of that and start from the beginning, right? We hit the ground running and we just do the thing. We never take the time to see what is it that I’m building?
Let’s decide what we want. What’s that mansion I wanna live in forevermore. I may wanna add a wing, redecorate, you know, once I’m there. But it needs to be the place that you, you actually do wanna be and figure that out first. Then everything else is just reverse engineering and creating, and then you work from the ground up, you reverse engineer the big chunks, right?
And then from the ground up, milestone mile markers, milestones, mile markers, milestones. But then even then, you’re micro calibrating at each new milestone because if you don’t, you could veer off just a little and all of a sudden you’ve got, you know, you’re in whole different nation than you wanted to really land in, right?
So it’s first of all, identification, [00:37:00] identifying, and that’s knowing you. You can’t identify that just by knowing who you wanna serve. It’s a whole ecosystem. Again, it’s a whole holistic thing, right? You know who you wanna serve, how you wanna serve them. And at the core of that is who the heck are you?
What are your non-negotiables, right? What do you want in the end? And then you get those chunks going down and then you journey it going up and micro calibrate all the way up. Check back into the foundations to the basics. Like, don’t ever say I’ve got this. I already know the thing. No, you don’t cause you’re an evolving human being.
You’re audience is an evolving audience or our society. Has an evolving mood, right? Things can happen in our world that affect everything. We all know that now. There’s not one person that doesn’t know that on this planet by now. So I guess the.
Main message is don’t be too rigid, but also be smart enough to architect, right? Know what you’re building before you start building it.
That’s right. I love it. So I’m [00:38:00] gonna say that again, but differently.
When you’re building who you want to be tomorrow. You are building. Whether you know it or not, you are building a vision. So in the words of the Antoniette Roze, if you’re building a vision anyway, it might as well be yours.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Excellent synopsis..
Know what you want your vision to be. You’re building a vision anyway. It might as well be yours.
Don’t build somebody else’s vision. Build your vision.
Right? And in that there are people praying for you. They’re praying they’re at awake at night praying for the solutions and the support that you alone bring. If you’re hiding out, then shame on you. There are people needing they need you. They don’t need you to be perfect. They don’t need you to get it all together first, right?
They need [00:39:00] you to know who you are, what you offer, and offer it imperfectly, and they’ll help you build it, right? As long as you know at the crux, you know, the bigger picture. Then don’t. This is the biggest mistake. Lucas said, I see a lot of speakers make right and when they’re trying to, they just don’t know why they’re not making it and speaking.
It’s cause they build the perfect course, right? And they build the perfect website and they build the perfect everything. But they don’t know, first of all, they don’t know themselves and they don’t really know their audience yet. It’s all about collecting data, right? We think we know, but we really don’t know.
Even when you get married, like you know enough where you know you wanna commit to this person in this journey, but it’s, you can be married for 50 years and you won’t know the fullness of each other yet cause it, we’re evolving beings, we’re living beings. And the same with your career and your community.
And so I really encourage the whole aspect of [00:40:00] definitely don’t try to figure it out first. Make everything perfect first and be in waiting mode until then, like, okay, now it’s all together. Now I’m gonna launch because you’re gonna be, you’re setting yourself up for huge disappointment.
Cause once that data, the data’s gonna come whether you like it or not. Right? And so you’re already into this rigid system that we’ve spent a lot of time, money, and life. You know, life energy on and you realize, oh, I really thought they were gonna need more help here.
But they got that. They really need more help over here. We’re getting a storm. It got really dark in here. Are we good? Should I turn a light on? Okay.
No, we’re good.
So I guess I’m losing my voice. You go ahead.
I like it. And that’s still a version. I mean, so not only is it important for you to know what your vision is, cause you’re gonna build a vision anyway, it might as well be yours, but you’re suggesting while you’re building and you talked about this in terms of the micro course corrections while you’re [00:41:00] building touch in with your audience, touch in with your community, touch in with the people that are praying for the solutions that you bring.
So that you know what pieces of what you can bring to them are the things that they really need. You can bring all of this, but they really only need this part.
Yeah. Almost spot on first and for foremost touching with yourself. Right? I thought I wanted this thing, but now, you know, I think I really, don’t love one-to-one consulting. I thought I would, you know, I think I really don’t. So let’s see what we can do to bring in more teams, support more team to do some of that so I can do some of this other, you know, whatever it might be.
You surprise yourself cause new level, new person. New level, new ecosystem. As you evolve and your business evolves and your community evolves and your message evolves. You discover things that you cannot know, what you don’t know until you’re there. So,
So many brilliant, amazing people who are needed out there are in that holding pattern.
Waiting for everything to align and be perfect. And they’re not only doing themselves a disservice cause time is precious and fleeting, but they’re doing all the people that are lying awake at night, praying for them a huge disservice.
I feel that, yeah. Thank you.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thank you for the space.
You have your vision you’re focused on building your vision and on checking in with the people in your community to make those micro course corrections in the shared experience between yourself and your community. Your community being the people that you’re serving and the people you’re going to serve.
How is it that the purpose. Pulls all that together, not just in the next moment but [00:43:00] for all of the next moments. How does the purpose make it possible for the people that you’re going to serve, to find you and to stay with you until you are ready to actually serve them?
Okay. Yeah. Really, really great. So when you start with purpose, right? You, that gives you the sticktoitiveness, the drive during the hard times to not quit, right? Then the tenacity. So that part, but it also with purpose comes a lot of clarity, a tremendous amount of clarity.
And when you care about the difference you’re gonna make. There’s a lot of great things any one of us can do, but it really takes away what doesn’t belong, so we can water ourselves down really quickly. I mean, you are a multi-talented man. You can be doing any number of amazing things in this world, right?
You decided to hone in on community. And I suspect that has a [00:44:00] lot to do with something personal, very personal within you, that’s important to you. And it made very clear what now if somebody, you know, maybe comes with another angle, if it doesn’t really fit into your ecosystem, your core ecosystem, that’s very easy to see.
If I’m gonna take that on, it’s gonna be run by a different team. Can I afford the team because my energy needs to be here. Right? And so it makes very, very clear who you are, what you offer, and the difference that you’re gonna make in not only your own clients, but the world at large. And so I guess it gives you the power to say no without apologies.
That’s probably the most, the strongest thing I can say is we want to be everything to everyone, and when we realize it is, there’s more power and polarizing, there’s a lot of power and polarizing when you get that, you understand your, and you can’t get that without knowing what your purpose is. [00:45:00] Because if you know that you’re fulfilling your purpose, all the other great things you could be doing, it doesn’t matter. That’s not your core, right? And so you’re polarizing those who aren’t necessarily needing that core thing that you bring to the table.
Mm-hmm. Which is okay. I don’t need everyone to need my core thing. It would be weird if I did.
Not only is it okay, it’s necessary for you to be effective, truly effective in a sustainable long-term way, it’s necessary. So I guess it’s really important for us to know it’s okay to not please everyone. You know, it’s okay to not be liked, like good. That means if there’s sections of people not liking you, right, or then you’re on the right track.
Because if everybody likes you, you are not being effective. Honestly, no effective person is not in a target zone, right? If you start feeling some pings on your back of [00:46:00] people, you know, who are behind you trying to take little pieces out of you, that means awesome.
First of all, I’m out front obviously, so I’m having some effectiveness if I’m getting their attention and the ones who care about what I care about and they’re resonating with me and I’m making a difference with, they’re going nowhere. They’re stuck like glue, right? They’re stuck like Velcro as to stick with the same analogy.
I think that if, for those who are follower of Seth Godin or the Purple Cow, you know that whole concept, it’s once you can understand that fitting in is ineffective. You don’t wanna be like shocking for the sake of being shocking. You just, you figure out who you are and you live that large and loud without apologies. And those who are,
Those who are meant for that journey are going on it with you. And the rest, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It’s [00:47:00] okay. And really that’s an indicator of whether or not you’re successful or not. Is there, are there enough people who don’t like you? If there’s not, get to work and get more people to not like you.
Yeah. Thank you. I like to wrap up my interviews with three questions. The first question is for all of the people that have been as deeply inspired by you as I have over the last month, and particularly in the last 51 minutes what’s the one best way that they can reach you?
Probably I have a website it’s Wellness Productions with an S co.com, WellnessProductionsCo.com, and there’s a contact form on there. So speakers, there’s a contact form for speakers and one for producers if you would like to be on. I have a speaker directory that’s no cost to the speakers, but they have to be interviewed by me and qualified to be [00:48:00] on there.
Do you just click on that contact form and you can reach me and it does come directly to my executive assistant who we’re very close every single day. So I will get your message through my website.
WellnessProductionsCo.com. Awesome, reach out if you want to be on her speaker directory. You will have to apply. Reach out if you are trying to change the world, especially in wellness.
Awesome. Thank you, Antoniette. All right. My second question. This is my curve ball, my doozy.
I love it. It actually was asked of me just yesterday and I was like, oh, there it is.
If there was any one question, Antoniette, that you wish I had asked you, but I have not, what would it be?[00:49:00]
Am I happy?
Yeah. Ooh. Oh yeah. That’s the one. In fact, honestly, that’s a question we should be asking everyone in our lives that are at least a modicum of important to us. Antoniette, are you happy?
I am ecstatically happy, deeply, deeply happy cause I know that. The work that I do, what I wake up for every morning is work I really love and care about and also affords me the time to be with my over a dozen grandchildren when I wanna be with my grandchildren and travel and do all the other things that I wanna do.
Yes, I can’t, even on the hard days at the core, I’m happy. Yes.
Mm. Yeah, partly because you’re out loud and on purpose.
[00:50:00] Amazing. Thank you. Antoniette, do you have any closing words?
Thank you for this space, Lucas. This has just been so comfortable and you’ve really drawn, drawn things out of me that, you know, a typical show hasn’t. So you’ve had a real ability to do that. So thank you for that and continue doing your work and showing people the power and the importance of community.
Cause I definitely echo that. That’s really where it begins. And not just joining a community for the sake of being belonging, but knowing yourself enough to know where, what you know, what spaces can you not only contribute to, but receive from. Right? Because without the giving and the receiving, then really you just have a thing that’s not organic, not living, not breathing.
But a community is a living, breathing, alive. Thing and the fact that you have devoted, you’ve got some very impressive credentials. [00:51:00] You could have devoted yourself in any number of areas, but the, at your level of insights and intelligence really, that you’ve honed in, that the core of what you wanna devote your, the core of your purpose to is community.
It means a lot. And I hope that your listeners really understand that it’s not a word, it’s actually an entity in a way, like a thing that lives and breathes and grows and evolves. Yeah. And so I think that’s all, that’s it from me.
Those are lovely words. I really appreciate you.
Yeah. Well, thank you for having me and ask me back anytime. I would be honored.
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Lucas is the host of Elements of Community. He is a community growth strategist and works with mega companies like The Pokemon Company to help build and foster community. This podcast is Lucas' way of giving back what he has learned about the magic of building and growing community.
Join Our Inner Circle
Like what you hear on the podcast? We have more secret recordings from every guest. We keep the microphone rolling after the podcast is done and get our guest to spill the beans on the best tactics for growing their communities profitably. You don't wanna miss this.