Full Video Cut

[00:00:00] Lucas Root: Sanyika, “The Fire Starter”, Street joins me for an absolutely fire conversation, where we talk all the way through why people say: “How are you?” And how to interact with a question as simple and as basic as that in a new and transformational way, to how he uses community to help uplevel the transformation that he delivers to his men in his community and right at the end, right as we are closing out, answers a question about why he’s in DC right now and what his responsibility to himself is… in a conversation he’s going to have with his own father. You cannot miss a minute of it. I’ll see you there.

[00:00:48] Thank you so much for joining,. Sanyika you and I have now been working together for several months and I am delighted to be able to share you with my audience. Would you like to introduce yourself?

[00:01:01] Sanyika Street: Yes, yes, it is an honor to be here on the Elements of Community Podcast with you. So Lucas from the House of Root.

[00:01:12] You get powerful distinctions with me that you did not necessarily need to have a sword put on your shoulder to get.

[00:01:18] Lucas Root: I do, I kind of feel like there was a sword involved there, like on the shoulder,

[00:01:26] Sanyika Street: got it. So, for those of you who do not know me, and for those of you who do know me, for shits and giggles, my name is Sanyika. I’m also known as the Fire Starter. My last name really is Street. I am currently coming to you live from another section of the street household, on the East Coast, which is where I grew up in the Washington DC area.

[00:01:46] Shout out to the DMV and we call the DMV not because it’s Department of Motor Vehicles, but because , the two states that border Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia are synonymous with the area. So,

[00:02:00] Lucas Root: That’s kind of cool.

[00:02:02] Sanyika Street: Yeah.

[00:02:02] Lucas Root: It makes sense, but I never would’ve thought of it.

[00:02:07] Sanyika Street: For sure. I mean, DC is a city that’s never gonna be a state until somebody makes it a state. That isn’t a state until somebody makes it state. So, it was pulled from land of Maryland and Virginia is across the river. So, you know, it’s an interesting, geography , and it’s a swamp.

[00:02:23] So, I’m sure people who believe in the, you know, who, you know, who follow politics deeply, believe that it is also a swamp for political reasons. But I’m not gonna get into that right now. What I’ll say is, I’m a proud son of this area and Im a proud son of William Donnell Street and Diane Street.

[00:02:41] First and foremost, I am a son. I a husband to Katie, my wife. I’m a father to Elijah and to. I’m a human first of all. And one of the most important things that I see when I ask people how they’re doing is they immediately tell me how their business is doing.

[00:03:00] Lucas Root: Mm.

[00:03:01] Sanyika Street: And, you know, business is really great and I’m like: “Are you your business?”

[00:03:05] You know, I’m a man. I’m all the things that I previously mentioned. And I am a very curious guy that is looking to see how far he can push his skin suit while he’s living on this planet. You know? So I am am also the CEO and founder of the “All In CEO”.

[00:03:33] Which is, a men’s personal development company. You know, we teach business and leadership and we do some really powerful, impactful things and we, which we can get into and talk about. But I’m very proud of the work that you and I have been doing. Lucas, I’m very proud of the, I’m very proud of who I am in this world.

[00:03:51] Lucas Root: Hmm.

[00:03:52] Sanyika Street: I’m very proud of the man that I have, become who I’ve become. And it’s really beautiful because of the fact that I am in DC. But one of the things that I needed to do was, it felt like I needed to do, and my journey is I needed to go on my walkabout and moving to LA so that I could find out who I really wanted to be.

[00:04:12] Because being here around family, you know, the magnetic gravitational pull. I have conversations often about escape velocity. And escape velocity is the minimum amount of force necessary to escape a gravitational field keyword, minimum if you’re trying to get outta the gravitational field of anything and gravity as an analogy.

[00:04:32] But if you’re trying to re remove yourself or to shift from one way of being to, to the. All you need to do is the minimum, right? The, the maximum can get you to, you know, extraordinary heights. But all you need to do is the minimum for me. The minimum amount of force that I needed to execute was to leave DC.

[00:04:48] And it was leaving DC that I, that I went on my walk about as they used in Australia in terms of somebody who was on their journey to become a man. And I use words like Initiate cause we have a process called the Initiation. But I needed to go on my journey and these past 17 years have been the most powerful initiation that I could have ever asked for.

[00:05:05] And the distinction between surviving something and being initiated is choice. And I chose to go on this journey and it is a powerful journey. So I’m glad to be here with you.

[00:05:16] Lucas Root: That’s amazing. Couple things. One, How many people ever actually answer the question: “Are you your business?” With “Yes.”

[00:05:30] Sanyika Street: I’ve never directly asked that, but I will say that I think it often, and I ask it in, in a less confrontational way. So I ask this conversation with men. I get this conversation from men more so than than women. I feel women are more intrinsically aligned to how they feel as an individual.

[00:05:50] But if I ask a guy how he’s doing, a guy will, you know, sometimes guys posture themselves around business. Now, I would imagine that one of the reasons that guys could posh posture themselves around their business is because they see a guy like me and they like they to stand up or measure up in some shape or form, even because of physical size, or because of the way I present myself, they’d be like,

[00:06:09] Lucas Root: Man, you’re only this big.

[00:06:12] Sanyika Street: Right on the camera’s just.

[00:06:13] Lucas Root: Now, You’re this big.

[00:06:15] Sanyika Street: Right, exactly. It’s like how are you? But I’ll say, how is the man doing? You know, I’ll say, how is the man? How are you the man? And then they go, well, I’m, I’m good. You know, everything is good. And then I, and, and sometimes it takes a third round, sometimes even a fourth.

[00:06:32] Lucas Root: Hm.

[00:06:34] Sanyika Street: What is your state of being?

[00:06:36] They don’t know what that means. What do you mean state of being like, you know, I’m good. I’m, I’m, I’ve been, I’m being, I’m good. How do you feel? And so the reason why I ask this, why, why, why this is this, this, I engage in this round and not, again, I don’t necessarily go four layers deep with everybody that I meet, but one of the things, the reasons I think this is so important is because, you know, who you are, how we show up in the, what, what we, what we do is, is intrinsically linked to who we are. And one of the things that I, that I, I see people who identify themselves as, when you identify yours, identify yourself as what you do, then people then, then that subsequently tells people who you are because that you think that you are what you do. And I am not what I do. I am who I am.

[00:07:24] Lucas Root: Hmm.

[00:07:25] Sanyika Street: And, and so the I am. , right? State of mean. What is your state of existence? It is the I am. And so I am. You know, I am, at a, at a foundational level. I am, I am, I am this beautiful, confluence, tapestry of all these experiences and, and, and, and I, and ideas. And, and part of the, the, the, the goal that I really feel like is really, really powerful is that I want to experience who you are as a person.

[00:07:56] What your beliefs, what your thoughts are, what you stand for, what you don’t, what you, what you rail against, you know, like those types of things. Because at the foundational level, Lucas, one of the reasons I ask guys, I feel like people don’t tell you who they are is because they’re afraid to tell the motherfucking truth.

[00:08:13] Lucas Root: Hmm.

[00:08:14] Sanyika Street: They’re afraid to tell what they actually believe. So they adopt philosophy from other things and other activities and politics and business and everything like that, because they don’t just wanna tell you what’s on their heart. So, yeah.

[00:08:30] Lucas Root: I get it. I love it. You know, there, there are a couple different ways we could play with that. , One of them is, you know, we, we live our entire life through a story that we’re telling ourselves in our heads. It’s permanent constant all the time. You, you tell a story about how you’re gonna hop on this podcast.

[00:08:49] You tell the story this morning about how you were gonna get up and, and take care of your kids and your wife and, you know, mess around with your brother a little bit, right? If we tell the wrong kinds of stories, and by wrong, I don’t mean I’m judging, but sort of like if we, if we tell stories in our heads about who we are in our, in the world, and it doesn’t include a who, you know, it doesn’t include the human element, right?

[00:09:11] You said, first and foremost, I’m a human. If, if we, if we forget to tell that, then it may actually be true to that person that they are their business. Another piece and, and this one might blow the whole, the whole lid off this. Most people probably don’t want to enter into a conversation when they’re asked, you know, how are you doing?

[00:09:31] By saying, you know what, dude, I’m, I’m fucking broke. I have $14,000 worth of credit card debt. I’m behind on my taxes. I don’t, you know, I’m living paycheck to paycheck and I’m surviving, but I, you know, I, I don’t fucking like it. I’m, I feel like I’m stressed out all the fucking time and I just can’t take it.

[00:09:49] That’s not the way that that comfortable conversations happen. And probably people have realized after having one conversation like that, that that’s not the way they want to carry on their life. And so they create a facade, they create a mask, and they carry that mask for their own benefit and for yours. And when you say “How you doing?”, what they don’t realize is, you are the person with whom they can actually have that conversation. They can actually talk about that shit, the shit that’s going on in their life, and, and you’re not gonna walk away and be like, dude, why’d you fucking dump that stuff on me?

[00:10:30] Sanyika Street: Mm-hmm. , right? Yeah, exactly. I, I, I love the f the, the, the facade. One thing I will offer in that two, two things I wanna speak to this, is that, , the mask is perceivably. For my benefit.

[00:10:46] Lucas Root: Hmm

[00:10:47] Sanyika Street: It is a hundred percent For your

[00:10:48] Lucas Root: mm-hmm.

[00:10:51] Sanyika Street: , you know, I’m, people say, well, I’m just trying to, to, you know, I’m trying to do what’s best for you.

[00:10:57] You know, how, how do you know ? How do you know what’s, you know, in that context? And you are absolutely spot on when you say that. , if there’s anybody in this world who has cultivated a deeper understanding and awareness of himself, who has the ability to be able to navigate and help possibly even just listen.

[00:11:13] I don’t offer advice or, or to, I don’t offer unsolicited advice ever. Ever! And one of the reasons that people, I, I would imagine that people do not share the deepest, darkest aspects of what they’re going on or the highest highs, right? Yo, I just got this, this promotion and everything is great in my life.

[00:11:34] And they go, well, I don’t wanna share those things because everybody else in my community is not doing as great as I’m doing. So I need to, to mute myself or mute my success to accomplish this, to, to, to make sure that I don’t stand up no tall. I’m, I’m using all these Australian terms like I’m Australian walkabouts. I ain’t never been to Australia a day in my life. So, but, but the, but the idea is that in this, in this context, is that there’s so much. There’s so much, there’s this dance, right? The masking is like, oh, I need to put myself lower. I don’t wanna seem too high. I don’t wanna seem too low. So, so where is the middle?

[00:12:14] How does the middle work? I’m like, you know, so this, so this is where the, the, the, this is where the disease of suppression starts to live. And so when you, when that disease of suppression, when you start swallowing and hiding and masking your truth. Your ability to generate income, to develop authentic relationships, to become a galvanizing magnetizing force in the context of your community, to be a leader, to effectively regulate your own health. Suppression in and of itself is a, is a, is a, is a powerful contributor to disease.

[00:12:56] It is a powerful contributor to to disease. And they go, why is that? Lemme just give you this real quick breakdown. Your body is a bar. It is a bar, and it is always making cocktails.

[00:13:09] Lucas Root: Hmm, that’s right.

[00:13:11] Sanyika Street: And these cocktails that your body is making consist of chemicals and those chemicals we have labeled as emotion.

[00:13:21] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:13:22] Sanyika Street: And those in these chemical cocktails, your body as a bar is making constantly.

[00:13:27] And your suppression of these chemical cocktails are your inability to understand how to regulate, how to move through, how to, how to navigate, how to journey through these chemical cocktails is causing a significant amount of internal, of internal dis-ease, discomfort, anxiety, overwhelmed, and it’s all, and, and, and one of the greatest valves that you have or opportunities that.

[00:13:50] Simply is to release and speak in the greatest form of truth that you have the ability to do so. But many people have not simply cultivated that alone. So we live in the mask, we live in this, we live in the narrative. We do what we feel is best for you so that we can have comfortable conversation. It is a pleasure to meet you, Lucas

[00:14:15] Lucas Root: That was awesome.

[00:14:16] Sanyika Street: Tired of this shit. Tired of this shit. Tide, Tide, Tide, Tide with bleach, Tide.

[00:14:25] Lucas Root: Yeah, tell me about your community. I know, I know of at least two of your communities. Which one do you wanna talk about?

[00:14:39] Sanyika Street: Let’s talk about The All In Man.

[00:14:42] Lucas Root: Yeah.

[00:14:46] Sanyika Street: and

[00:14:50] I’ll just say this, this is a, a nod to my past is, you know, the, the,

[00:15:01] I realized in my life that I was living behind the same masks that you spoke of. The reason I’m so dedicated to the work that I do is because of the fact, it’s contributed to the fact, at least by the fact that I used to be a guy who would go around, having casual con, you know, casual, comfortable conversation.

[00:15:22] even though I, I was, I leaned more on the idea of how I would love to have more, thought provoking and interesting conversation with individuals. I would, I would tend to lean away from it because I did not identify who I really wanted to be. So I didn’t identify the human. I didn’t know that I identified as a man.

[00:15:41] I didn’t know any of those different things. All that I knew was that I lived by a default mechanism, which was everyone else’s percept. By and by. And so I, and so that put me in a situation where I was like, I, I, I was in my, my, my quote unquote rock bottom sandwich, you know? And so, you know, I was, I called it rock bottom cause I was already at rock bottom and rock bottom smashed on top of me, you know, like a Oreo cookie.

[00:16:06] And I’m the filling, you know, I’m financially broke, emotionally broken. Two DUIs, girlfriends paying the bills, 40 pounds overweight. I mean, my life is literally. Boom, like a mess. And, and that was the, some of the hardest periods of my life. But, but one of the things that I realized is that, is that, you know, everybody pays tuition.

[00:16:32] and that was, and that was my, and that was part of my tuition. And that when you’re stepping into a learning process about who you choose to be, when you’re stepping into a process of me where you feel like you’re being challenged, when you step into a process where you feel like you’re being, you know, in your, when you’re in a relationship situation, a financial situation, any of those different situations, when I found myself in those situations, what I realized is I wasn’t necessarily just being challenged.

[00:16:53] I was being initiated. And so the idea of the All in Man is about a man who lives in the deepest forms of alignment, which is the all and integrity, right? And so can I be a man that is in alignment and an integrity with myself? And, and to step into that. to journey from that. Many men are struggling with some really significant issues in their lives.

[00:17:20] Right? And, and the, and the, and they don’t realize it until they have a powerful mirror. and that mirror generally comes from being in a marriage where you’re either on all autopilot or the wi your wife is, you know, hit you with the three word phrase. We need therapy. And the bottom line is that, that we need therapy is usually the recipe for, for the fact that there’s a, there’s, you know, that, that there’s some pending paperwork or that there’s some real issues in the context of your relationship.

[00:17:48] right. You know, guys who have been struggling were really finding their purpose and finding their why, and, and people, guys who have literally gone through situations where they have, where they, where they have all only identified themselves as their career and all of their important relationships have started to devolve. And so the community that I have built is about men who have, who literally are, who are who, who are in that awareness that there is a greater level of purpose, of honor, of intention, that have reverence for their lives that they get to step into. And my invitation is, look man, if you are at that situ, that point in your life, then it’s time for you to go all in.

[00:18:29] and my mission on this, my mission on this planet is to initiate a million men into their greatness. That is, it is initiate a million men into the next level of their greatness, and to continue to build a world where men who step into greater, greater leadership, who step into greater awareness of who they can be, literally become champions of what’s possible in their lives and become protectors.

[00:18:55] Women of children and they can achieve the highest levels of success that they want to achieve in their lives. So that’s the, so the, the, the work that I do is with men to step into the next level of their lives, and it’s been the most profound work I’ve ever done.

[00:19:10] Lucas Root: That’s beautiful. So it’s not necessarily about telling everybody you sp speak with that you’re in debt and you’re behind on your taxes and you living paycheck to paycheck. It’s about being able to have that conversation when it’s invited.

[00:19:30] Okay. Right. So it’s, it’s not always, but it’s also not never.

[00:19:35] Sanyika Street: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:38] Lucas Root: And the people who are broken are the ones who are on the two ends of that extreme. Right. The the always is and the nevers.

[00:19:45] Sanyika Street: Yes. And so they’re all the alwayss. Yes, the alwayss. There are people that live in the, always in the, in the constant purging of what it is that they are experiencing.

[00:19:55] Lucas Root: I have an employee like that

[00:19:58] Sanyika Street: right, so one of the things I tell people is that, is that, is, it’s really important to understand the purpose of communication and, but a really important distinction.

[00:20:12] So when I say communication in this context, I’m specifically talking about language.

[00:20:16] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:20:18] Sanyika Street: Communication, 95% of communication is nonverbal. So when I’m so in this context, I’m simply upset talking about language, and you have to understand the intention of the language that you use. And if you don’t understand the, the intention of your language, if you don’t understand the intention of, of, of, of what language is for or if you don’t know who you are.

[00:20:43] So if you don’t know who you are, you don’t know what your language is for, then you just get caught in a never ending cycle of feeling and purging whatever it is that you are feeling. Here’s rule number one, Lucas. I am not my feelings.

[00:20:54] Lucas Root: Hmm. Yeah.

[00:20:58] Sanyika Street: I am not my thoughts, I am not my feelings.

[00:21:01] Lucas Root: I am not my business

[00:21:02] Sanyika Street: Not my business. Yeah. Right. So I’m so, so then the question is, is well then how do I get to communicate what it is that I actually feel, right? Because I want to tell you everything that’s going on with me, or I don’t wanna tell you anything that’s going on with me, because telling you my feelings means that I’m inadequate, incompetent, incapable, or, impotent is generally one of the reasons that men don’t share what they feel.

[00:21:25] Because shame shows up in men as those four things in incompetent, incapable, impotent. I don’t wanna feel weak as a result of sharing what’s going on or the guys who want to purge constantly because, but so the idea is that if I’m communicating you to you, Lucas, everything that’s going on with me, right?

[00:21:42] If I’m purging and purging and purging, and purging right, with no intention in mind, then what essentially it is, is it is attention seeking behavior. It is the immature, masculine. It is the version of us that is literally purging using language to seek attention because they don’t know how to tend to their own needs.

[00:22:01] That’s number one. right? And so the, and so the, the, the converse of that is the guy who does not want to communicate his his truth because of the fact that, like I said, incompetently, incompetent, and capable or impotent. So I don’t wanna feel any of those things. So also ano the extreme form of not being able to voice one’s needs,

[00:22:22] Lucas Root: Mm.

[00:22:23] Sanyika Street: not being able to voice one’s needs and desires.

[00:22:26] And so, and so they, they both exist as suppression. It’s just that one comes with more language.

[00:22:32] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:22:34] Sanyika Street: So in this context, so what people do is we model, so when people, so we are, you and I are having a conversation and we are using language because we’re on a podcast and the, and the, and this medium, this content medium requires language and conversation and interaction and all these other things, right?

[00:22:51] That’s what the intention.

[00:22:53] Lucas Root: it, it wouldn’t work so well if we didn’t talk

[00:22:56] Sanyika Street: Yeah, exactly. It wouldn’t have worked so well to, we didn’t talk, but, and so then what people do is, is some, some guys, they take, they model the way that they communicate and they talk like they’re being, like, they’re having a conversation being interviewed.

[00:23:10] Lucas Root: Hmm.

[00:23:11] Sanyika Street: This is one I’m like,

[00:23:13] some people communicate like they’re being interviewed.

[00:23:17] And so one of the, one of the ways that I’ve seen this is that, especially in the context of community, is that. Interview communication like the medium in which you are communicating dictates the way that you communicate, but I would never communicate with somebody the way I would communicate with somebody in a fucking interview.

[00:23:34] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:23:35] Sanyika Street: Really awful. This is a bad communication to communication methodology inherently, in a conversation where I’m looking to create authenticity, vulnerability, and in, in some form of rapport with an individual. And I’ll give you one of the best, with the best examples, right?

[00:23:53] Is when I am in communication with somebody. When I’m in communication with someone, like in in casual conversation, I mirror and repeat what they say. I mirror often, and one of the reasons I mirror people say, well, you know, why are you mirroring? Like, you know, are you mirroring to build rapport?

[00:24:09] You mirror? I’m like, look, the, the reasons that I mirror in conversation or I confirm, right? I mirror, I summarize, or I confirm. That is acknowledgement. I acknowledge what people say. In all contexts. I even do, I mean, I even do it, I even use some of the words that you say to me in my language, but I mine your language mining it.

[00:24:30] I mine your language so that I, I form a deeper understanding and awareness of what it is that you are saying so that I can find a greater possibility in it.

[00:24:38] Lucas Root: Yeah,

[00:24:39] Sanyika Street: Right? So, but the one, but, but

[00:24:41] Lucas Root: using language the way it’s supposed to be used.

[00:24:45] Sanyika Street: Well, I hope so, right. I hope, I hope I’m using it the way it’s supposed to be used. But the flip side of it is that, is that I see people who literally bypass each other and they only communicate what they have to say. I only, so you say something to me, I just, you say, like, just, just say something real quick.

[00:25:05] Like, like ask a question for.

[00:25:07] Lucas Root: Sanga, how you doing today?

[00:25:09] Sanyika Street: I’m doing, I’m doing, I’m doing great. Right? Maybe this isn’t the best example, but, but the greatest, the greatest, the greatest form of this that I’ve witnessed, Lucas, is that when I experience people who are, um, who are not,

[00:25:26] Lucas Root: how about this? Yo, what’s up?

[00:25:30] Sanyika Street: right? Yeah. Yo, what’s up? Just, just, just nothing. Everything, you know, everything’s going on with my business. You know, we just did this project and then the narrative just goes on, right? We just did this project, talk about this thing. I’m just doing this thing and, and, and, and I, I believe that the, one of the greatest, most beautiful components of language, especially in the context of, of creating community, is that language is used to build relationship language is for relationship. And for the people who either incessantly communicate, meaning like who only communicate what it is that they have to say, who don’t ask questions, which is the greatest crime against humanity and relationship that ever existed,

[00:26:13] Lucas Root: Oh yeah.

[00:26:14] yeah

[00:26:15] Sanyika Street: It is the greatest crime. If you, this is part of interview language, right?

[00:26:20] You say something, I say something, you say something, I say something. If you say something to me, Lucas and I ask you a question about it, how do you feel about that? . And then after you answer, I ask you another question. I double down on the question and that you get two questions from me about what you just shared. And I, I didn’t tell you about what’s happening in my business or in my world or any of those things like that. Well, why? Because I use language to build relationship. I use language to mine information. People think that when they tell you what’s going on with them or what they, when they tell you that that’s gonna build community because they feel like it’s building authority and so they tell you what’s happening with ’em because they feel like it builds authority.

[00:27:07] Let me make this apparently and abundantly clear so that I’m gonna break this down so it is forever broken. The person who is asking the questions is the person who is leading the conversation. And so if you would like to find yourself in greater leadership and capacity of any other areas of your life, stop fucking talking to people about what everything is going on in your universe and start asking questions.

[00:27:35] The person who is leading this conversation that you and I are in is you. I just wanna make that abundantly clear, right? It does not diminish. Take away from me.

[00:27:47] Lucas Root: Not at all.

[00:27:47] Sanyika Street: It means that you are in leadership of this conversation and I default surrender and submit to your leadership in this conversation. That is it. but there’s so much bullshit about people who just want to communicate what they have to say and then they wanna know why they’re extricated from community, why they don’t have community, why people don’t want to be around your monkey ass sometimes and why the hell trying to figure out why you can’t get further ahead in the areas of which that you’re looking to get to get ahead in It’s because, you’re trying to use language to create authority, subconsciously. But that’s not one of the most effective uses of language. Leadership has been modeled ineffectively for you.

[00:28:32] Lucas Root: Boom. That was beautiful. Oh, to summarize, cuz that was amazing. People need to hear that twice. In fact, probably people should listen to that section twice or three times themselves hear from you. But to summarize, community is built via relationships. Relationships are built via communication. The most powerful way to build relationships and the most powerful use of the tool of communication is asking questions and listening.

[00:29:11] And by asking questions, you are demonstrating and giving yourself an opportunity to exercise leadership and building that relationship. Because, and this is true, every single person wants to feel seen and heard every single. And the best gift you can give a person is to see them and hear them. And that’s what you do Sanka, and you model and you bring men into through your leadership.

[00:29:50] Sanyika Street: Amen. A . Amen. Thank you for that summary. I wanna add in there, one footnote is please be mindful that communication is a powerful tool. Language is a component of communication. It’s a component. The other aspects of our communication, energetic, physical. Like nonverbal communication is.

[00:30:17] The other component of it is silence.

[00:30:21] While we are in this interview, we are having a conversation. We are using language, we are sparring or, or sort of voling language back and forth. But the other component that I use in my normal conversation is silence. You will create exponentially greater results in your life if you literally learn this one powerful phrase, shut the fuck up. Just shut up.

[00:30:52] Lucas Root: To you, not from you to you,

[00:30:56] Sanyika Street: here to you. Right? Right. So when you speak to me, I I generally speaking, and I would say it takes, I, I take about a two to three second mo pause in general when I’m receiving information to absorb what someone just said. And that pause, because I used to be impulsive. I would literally just many times just respond.

[00:31:28] Right.

[00:31:29] Lucas Root: Shit. You probably started responding before they were finished speaking.

[00:31:33] Sanyika Street: Right.

[00:31:36] Lucas Root: I know how that feels.

[00:31:38] Sanyika Street: Yeah. Or, and, and then they respond before someone’s speaking and then they, and then, uh, the idea is like, well, I’m gonna respond before someone’s speaking and, or, I’m just gonna hold onto that thing that I feel like I really need to say.

[00:31:51] Lucas Root: Hm.

[00:31:52] Sanyika Street: So I’m gonna stop listening because I don’t want to lose the train of thought that I just.

[00:31:58] but there’s something beautiful that’s happening in you, Lucas, even in this moment right now, like I’m tapping into like just my connection with you and whatever’s happening with you. If I can shift my internal compass to being more concerned, more aware, more curious about what’s happening with you, what’s happening in you, what’s being said and what isn’t being said.

[00:32:28] If I can become more aware of what’s happening in that, let me explain something to you people. For those people, it, it boosts your authority.

[00:32:44] It does. It operates in the converse of what people think are actually, so it it, it does, it does. The thing that you thought talking all the time was going to.

[00:32:55] And this is why I talk about when we talk about community, the element of community. I don’t know if you wanna get into this now, but, but the element of community that connects with me the most is, is the heart. Can we dig into that?

[00:33:09] Lucas Root: I think now’s perfect time for that.

[00:33:13] Sanyika Street: Great. You know, we’re talking on technology right now. And I recently went to see Jordan Peterson in London, in person. And many people have varying opinions about Jordan Peterson. You know, people go well. I, I don’t necessarily agree with everything that Jordan Peterson says, and, you know, some extreme points of view, which I don’t agree with.

[00:33:33] , also, I don’t agree with everything my wife says as well. So,

[00:33:37] Lucas Root: we can have really powerful relationships with people we don’t agree with.

[00:33:41] Sanyika Street: Absolutely , right? So, but one of the things that he did say that was so beautiful, he said that his technology is a quote, he quoted somebody else. He said, as technology increases, so should our ability to do good. And as, and as, and as technology has in increased as, you know, Moore’s law has been sort of eradicated because technology has been increasing at such a rapid pace.

[00:34:10] Is is that, technology has outpaced our ability to do good and and so we’re literally just trying to keep up with technology as opposed to seeking to be humans in a technological world.

[00:34:27] Lucas Root: That’s a really powerful statement that I don’t agree with

[00:34:32] Sanyika Street: Hmm.

[00:34:33] Lucas Root: right now. You and I are 2000 miles apart. We’re having a conversation about leadership language and being connected to the person, right? That common heart being really deeply connected to the people inside of the community that we are members of. At 2000 miles apart, and when we’re done with this, this, this is gonna be made available to the entire world.

[00:34:58] I mean, I mean, think about like, we, we don’t even have a way to think about what it means to make something available to the entire world. People are gonna pick up their little toys that they carry around. They’re, they’re, they’re massively incredible supercomputers that go in their pockets. Which, by the way, 5 of the 7 billion living people in the world today have one of these things.

[00:35:21] They’re gonna pick it up and they’re gonna plug in their earpiece and they’re gonna go fold laundry while they’re listening to you. Give the magic key to being a better leader in your own life. Technology has absolutely not outpaced our capacity to do good. Um, and this technology right here is making it possible for you and me right now to create a, an everlasting message that people will have access to in order to be able to be better humans.

[00:35:56] Sanyika Street: Hmm.

[00:36:02] I’m gonna absorb what you just shared, and I appreciate that that distinction.

[00:36:09] Um, you know, I, I, I definitely find myself in a space where this, the question always comes back as, how do I communicate with more heart? How do I. , how do I extend and give my heart in that? And, and then what, and what’s the benefit of it, right?

[00:36:34] What’s the be, what’s the, what’s the benefit of it, especially in the context of what it means to build community, right? I, the,

[00:36:44] there’s a dis distinction between being , being alone and being lonely.

[00:36:50] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:36:52] Sanyika Street: Right. And when I find people who are, who are, you know, some people who are physically alone, right? And when I find people who are in, in environments of individuals and they feel lonely, it’s because they don’t feel, it’s because they don’t feel loved.

[00:37:08] And to me, love the root of love, no pun intended with your last name or maybe a little bit, right? But the root of love is, is being seen and.

[00:37:16] heard

[00:37:17] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:37:19] Sanyika Street: You see someone, you hear someone you love them. That’s what love feels like with a deep form of care. Right. I see you. I hear you. Because I care about you and, and my, my desire is to show people that I care.

[00:37:33] And you know, the, the, the way that I feel about the heart is, you know, I use the, analogy about, uh, grandma’s house. because to me, grandma, when you go to grandma’s house, grandma and grandpa, whichever one operated in that space for you, they, they operated in the highest form of leadership. They were the greatest form of leadership.

[00:37:53] We generally see leadership in the context of, you know, authoritarianism or dictatorship or people yielding their leadership against others for influence and for power and for money, and for all those different things. But I just think about grandma’s house is that when you go to grandma’s house, when you go to your grandma’s house, the first thing I ask people is, if you were hungry and you went over grandma’s house and grandma offered you something to eat, would you eat?

[00:38:17] Lucas Root: Hell yeah.

[00:38:19] Sanyika Street: Oh, yeah. I back from Buffet, but grandma, so I’m, you know, and, and, and, and I, I, people go, well, is grandma four feeding you? I’m like, no, you, you’re eating because, you know, it’s to show reverence, right? To show respect. And because you know, grandma has your greatest interest in mind, you know Grandma has your greatest interest in mind.

[00:38:44] Not only is grandma making you food, grandma knows where you like to sit. Grandma knows where you like to hang your jacket. Grandma knows, you know the favorite game that you like to play. She knows all of those different things. She understands your unique needs as a human.

[00:38:58] Lucas Root: Hmm.

[00:38:59] Hmm

[00:38:59] Sanyika Street: And, and when we talk about being in the context of community and leadership in community is that you actually, your greatest gift and your greatest superpower in the context of community is heart and of the fact that because you are, you are operating for the greater good, you’re operating with the greater good in mind.

[00:39:20] And, and so there’s this, you know, so for. You know, there’s this, I the, the idea about being the alpha male or being the, being a leader in, in dominance or in that context. And even the guy, and you may be familiar with the guy who came up with the, the concept of the alpha male. He did a ted talk basically debunking it because, you know, somebody was saying about the, the, you know, about the alpha male is the one, is the one who’s in front, is the one who’s the most dominant, the one who’s all this of the kinda stuff.

[00:39:47] I’m the alpha in this context, I’m the leader. I’m the boss. And the, and, and so I, I was having a conversation with a leadership team, and this guy was talking to me and he said, you know, I don’t, he, he just got promoted into a leadership position. He was a, he was like a freelancer and a producer in a movie studio, and then he got promoted into a leadership position.

[00:40:08] He was like, I don’t feel comfortable being on top. And I said, on top of the hierarchy. And I said, oh, for real? He said, yeah. So I don’t feel comfortable being on top of the hierarchy, you know, like being a leader. and I said, can I offer a, like a another look on that? You said, yeah. I said, instead of looking at leadership like this, like the hierarchy, like this,

[00:40:29] Lucas Root: Mm.

[00:40:30] Sanyika Street: how about you look at it like this?

[00:40:32] And then I turned my hand from vertical to horizontal

[00:40:35] Lucas Root: Yeah.

[00:40:37] Sanyika Street: and I said, how about like this? And then I said, is the leader in the front or in the back? And then he said in the front, I said, are you sure? and then he goes, I said, the leader is wherever they need to be.

[00:40:53] Lucas Root: That’s right.

[00:40:55] Sanyika Street: And the reason that the leader is wherever they need to be is because they are tending.

[00:40:58] They are, they are tending to and understanding the individual needs of the people in the group. And then, so some people listen to this analogy. They go, well, I have leadership that’s not doing that well. That’s ineffective leadership.

[00:41:10] Lucas Root: That’s ineffective leadership.

[00:41:13] Sanyika Street: It’s not effective leadership. If you are in an environment where people are not tending to your individual needs, then that’s in ineffective leadership. And here’s the other component. If you are in an environment that is where, where you are surrounded by ineffective leadership and you are not speaking to the ineffectiveness of the leadership, then that is ineffective leadership in you.

[00:41:37] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:41:42] Sanyika Street: And so we get to rise, and this is in the, the in. One of the best ways I’ve seen, the most powerful ways I’ve seen this is in, is in marriages and in relationships. I’m telling you, man, I had a conversation. I had a conversation with a client a couple days ago with him and his partner, and on a Zoom call. I had them going through an exercise where they were looking at each, where they were looking at each other and they were interrupting each other.

[00:42:11] Both of them

[00:42:12] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:42:13] Sanyika Street: interrupting each other, communicating what they felt with, with little to no intention other than voicing what it is that they wanted to say. They didn’t, didn’t know how to effectively communicate their needs. They didn’t ask e each other questions. They didn’t refer to each other in first person.

[00:42:33] You know, it, it wasn’t, it was like, I, you know, I gave them a prompt and I said, and here’s the, and I said, here’s the prompt. The prompt is, you know, you know, the, the way that I, they were grading each other in the context of the relationship, and I was like, the prompt is, you know, as it relates to our relationship, the, the way that I feel about our, our ability to show each other affection is blank grade, right? And then, and it was like, well, the reason that I feel this way is because I’m like, are you talking to me? Are you talking to them? Because if I was talking to you, I’d say, Lucas, the reason that I feel this way is because X, Y, and Z.

[00:43:08] But there was so much fear in addressing each other directly. , right? There’s so much distance, there’s so much. And listen, this is why you do the work. And by the work I’m being the personal development work, the trauma work, the, because, because there’s, because the, the wounding becomes so real from who we were as kids.

[00:43:26] Me who I was as a, as a child coming up, you know, in, in, in, in DC is that if you don’t do or dig into this work and it shows up in the most important aspects of your. And so when you’re trying to create a powerful relationship, when you’re trying to create a marriage, when you’re trying to create a a, a, a, soar in your life, your community is your family.

[00:43:47] That’s the fuel, that’s the, that is the ground, that is the foundational fuel of your life. And so you are not cultivating family. That’s why I use grandma, because if we can create a powerful. , the net powerful core has the ability to grow and to extend itself into the secondary and the tertiary aspects of our, of our relationships.

[00:44:11] But the thing is that if I can communicate to you and you could feel like you’re having a conversation with, with, with somebody who deeply cares about your life, which I do, Lucas right? And then if I have a conversation, then, then, then that level of heart and that level of love and that level of intention has the ability to extend itself exponentially into other aspects of, of our, of our business lives.

[00:44:33] And I’ll tell you one thing, if anybody you go on, you communicate to about me. They, I don’t know. I don’t necessarily know if they would necessarily call me the smartest guy. I don’t necessarily know if they would call me the most successful. I don’t necessarily, I don’t know what they would call me.

[00:44:49] Right. and all those things are the aspects of that with which I consider myself. I consider my, you know, we’ve created a really powerful and successful business. I’ve created all, you know, I feel like I’ve increased my, expanded my level of intelligence over over my life. But here’s the thing, I don’t think necessarily think they would describe me as any of those things.

[00:45:05] I think one of the things that they would describe me as is somebody who just cared. I think they would just be like, he really cares.

[00:45:18] and then they may use any other combina combination of different ways to describe, but if, if I died on this planet tomorrow, today, right now, after this call, if you hit the button right, if you literally hear no more sound. And the only thing that people felt as a result of me being on this planet was that I deeply cared.

[00:45:37] I have done my work.

[00:45:38] Lucas Root: You’ve done your work. That’s, that’s what you want your tombstone to say. He cared.

[00:45:44] Sanyika Street: He cared..

[00:45:48] He cared. Because if I cared then that level of care in the context of what you just shared about, you know, about the, and I appreciate that, that you, you know, disagreed about the I idea of how technology has helped us to scale our ability. And I, and I believe in certain aspects of that for sure. One of the things that we’ll say is that

[00:46:12] I would love to see a, a genuine concern for other people, a genuine, desire to achieve the greater good at scale. Right? Literally impacting billions of people and people knowing that they are seen and that they’re heard and that they’re cared about. because I believe that in, in that, in this space, like with these types of us operating in that way, then it has the ability to, to create a really powerful, a powerful world.

[00:46:48] And it’s a powerful world because I feel like it in, in that world. It’s a world where everyone can reach the greatest heights that they were called on this planet to reach. But here’s the thing, and I’ll just say this real, real. I believe that every person was, receives the call from God. Everybody gets a call from God to reach into the, the next level of their dreams, but everybody doesn’t answer the phone

[00:47:15] Lucas Root: Yeah, because they’re busy.

[00:47:21] Sanyika Street: cause they’re busy

[00:47:23] Lucas Root: Stop being

[00:47:23] Sanyika Street: busy. talking about busy, about being busy.

[00:47:27] So, my intention is to, to invite guys into the idea of , of what it means to, to go all in and to, and to literally answer the call, right? To step into a deeper purpose, intention, and, to create powerful families to, to be guys that really represent, the greatest possibility of who they could become.

[00:47:52] and and to be beacons on this planet for what is possible when men step into greater leadership.

[00:48:02] Lucas Root: The All in Men.

[00:48:07] Sanyika Street: Indeed.

[00:48:09] Lucas Root: Couple of questions as we wrap up. The first one, but not the last. Where can people find you?

[00:48:20] Sanyika Street: Website is TheAllInCEO.com or the new website, , which is All-In.men.

[00:48:36] Lucas Root: Hmm. All in men, All-In.Men. It’s gonna be in the show notes. Thank you. I love this. My guess is you’re gonna have a few people reaching out, I hope cuz I hope that people want to seek the kind of leadership that I have sought and, learn to to master themselves. Yeah. Amazing. Second question. This is the curve ball. What question would you like me to have asked you that I did not?

[00:49:23] Sanyika Street: Why do you only work with men?

[00:49:26] Lucas Root: Indeed. Sanyika, why do you only work with men?

[00:49:42] Sanyika Street: You know,

[00:49:42] I had a train of thought and I decided to, I decided, I found a better train of thought in response to that. Well, n number one, the, the primary reason is because I am a man. And not only because of the fact that I am a man, but I’m a man that did not understand what it meant to be a man.

[00:50:10] Lucas Root: Hmm.

[00:50:14] Sanyika Street: People talk about the greatest masculinity is under attack.

[00:50:20] Lucas Root: I’ve heard that.

[00:50:21] Sanyika Street: Yeah. By, trans men and, L G B T and gay men.

[00:50:28] Lucas Root: For what it’s worth, I don’t feel under attack.

[00:50:32] Sanyika Street: Got it. Well, I, I will tell you this, masculinity is under-attack. But it ain’t by the trans community. It ain’t by the gay community. You wanna know who’s attacked by? It’s under, attack by the same men who don’t choose to be men!

[00:50:47] Lucas Root: Hmm. Yeah.

[00:50:49] Sanyika Street: Who have existed in perpetuity for as long as I have been alive. The same men who do not wanna step up as fathers and as husbands and their lives, the same men that do not wanna raise their children, the same men that do not wanna step into greater leadership, the same men that do not wanna understand how to, what it means to be emotionally available to your children so that you can actually teach them how to navigate through life.

[00:51:08] Those are the same. Its been attacked by, it’s been under attack, by guys who do not choose to step into that. And so then we redirect the conversation. We redirect the conversation to the media propaganda, and I understand that there’s a. A vast amount of conversation around, you know, what masculinity is and where it exists on the spectrum and all those different things.

[00:51:30] But I will tell you that the people that is under attack, listen, I, I have come to a deeper place of compassion in my relationship trip to my father. I have, but even in my soul, there’s still list, there’s still exists some bits of resentment for the fact that he did not show, wanna show up and choose to be a man,

[00:51:48] that he did not wanna be a leader in my life. Now understand this, I am not fault. I am grateful to him because my father helped me disprove one really powerful thing. Boys don’t need their fathers. Boys don’t need their fathers. They don’t. And there’s a lot of guys I walking around because, you know, boy needs his dad like, look a boy doesn’t need his father. My father is proof. My father left when I was seven. I didn’t have one father. So if that, if I didn’t have my father, then the question is, is, well, how did I, how did I cultivate this deeper understanding of what it means to be a man?

[00:52:27] I cultivated it because a boy needs a guy. A boy needs a man who loves him and who shows him how to love himself.

[00:52:34] Lucas Root: Mm-hmm.

[00:52:37] Sanyika Street: That is what boys need. That is what, that is what youth need. That’s what our, our young men need. They need men who love them and who teach them how to love themselves because from that place, when you have a man who does that, that is the, that is how we step up in this world as men. . And so what I’ve realized in this, in that context is that I didn’t need this cause because that, that phrase born his father operates under a really faulty premise that, that most men are, are, that all men are, are, are effective as fathers.

[00:53:08] And they’re not.

[00:53:09] Lucas Root: They could be. But they’re not.

[00:53:12] Sanyika Street: There’s, yeah, yeah, they could be, but they’re not. right there. There are people, there are kids who I pray with, parents who are violent or abusive, drug abuse, all types of different situational circumstances that exist in their home. Men with fathers grow up with fathers. So then what do they need? We need men who love them and show them how to love themselves.

[00:53:30] That is what we, that is the, that is the, those are the men that we need. And so when I talk about the idea of being all in as men, I’m saying that none, dude, you ain’t your business. and when you die on your tombstone, you’re, they are not gonna put your Q1 quarterly earnings.

[00:53:49] Lucas Root: No, I hope not.

[00:53:52] Sanyika Street: They might. Yeah. But if they do, God be with them. Right. Your kids will remember, did he care about me? Did he love me? Was he present? And I will tell you this is that at the present moment, I am in DC also for another reason, my father is dying and my father is, is pre Parkinson’s. He’s at heart attack, he’s at a stroke.

[00:54:19] And I mean, he can barely get sentences out. And when I tell you that I am in the process, one of my personal responsibilities is to see my father when I, as I am here and to visit. And the thing about me visiting my father is that even in my heart in this moment, I am going with the deepest level of compassion that I have to pay honor and respect to the fact that he helped me to be on this planet.

[00:54:42] And at the same time, the idea is that you don’t want your children to see you when you are dying and to know that you didn’t give a shit about their life.

[00:54:57] Lucas Root: You damn right I don’t.

[00:55:02] Sanyika Street: That is not, that is not what you want.

[00:55:05] Lucas Root: Yep. I want he cared.

[00:55:09] Sanyika Street: I want it to, and even with me going, even with me being up there, even with me being present. Is that if you want your kids to, to, to live into the legacy that you, that you believe, to honor your, to honor your family and your family’s name and heritage to, to, to, to live as a reflection of how you showed up in this world, then it is time for you to go all in.

[00:55:34] It’s time for you literally to show up as the man that you know you need to be.

[00:55:45] I am complete.

[00:55:47] Lucas Root: Thank you my brother. I love you.

[00:55:51] Sanyika Street: Lucas or Sir Lucas from the House of Root. I love you as well. Thank you for having me.

[00:56:03] Narrator: Thanks for joining us this week on Elements of Community.

[00:56:07] Make sure to visit our website, ElementsOfCommunity.us, where you can subscribe to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or via rss, so you’ll never miss a show. While you’re at it, if you found value in this show, we’d appreciate a rating on iTunes, or if you’d simply tell a friend about the show, that would help us out too.

[00:56:29] Be sure to tune in next week for our next episode.